


Moments

by sillystarshine



Category: Glee
Genre: Family, Family Drama, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillystarshine/pseuds/sillystarshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments, those are what make up our lives no matter good, bad, or something in between, we live and we learn from them. Follow Shelby and Rachel as they live through some of the greatest and worst moments of their lives. AU. Shelby raising Rachel from the very beginning so you'll see a baby Rachel!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A moment of hesitation

 

  
_Moments_  
 _a moment, a love_  
 _a dream, a laugh_  
 _a kiss, a cry  
_ _our rights, our wrongs_

__

  
_**Moments**_ **,** _**those are what make up our lives no matter good, bad, or something in between, we live and we learn from them. And we all pray for that one moment that one life changing moment that we never seem to get. But we just don't realize that while we're praying for our life changing moment, it is happening right in front of our eyes.** _

_1991: A moment of hesitation_

What is he doing? Is he getting down on one knee? No, no, no way! He is he's proposing here in the middle of the restaurant with everyones eyes on us. Don't those people have food they should be eating! What oh right Shelby pay attention your boyfriend and love of your life for the past year is proposing even though you told him that you wanted to wait until you were at least 25 to even think about marriage.

"Shelby Marie Corcoran will you marry me?"

So what! If marriage is coming four years earlier into life plan than expected 21, 25 not that much of a difference you love the guy don't you? Yes I'm completely in love with Dustin, he's perfect he understands my passion for theater, he's hot, he's sweet umm well what else could a girl ask for? And you know what I am ready for marriage! So then why am I hesitating? Oh! He's still waiting for my answer.

"Yes! Dustin. Yes I will marry you."

_**And that was my first mistake, I didn't listen to my heart which was screaming no but it sounded more like a whisper compared to the yes that my head was screeching.** _


	2. A moment of bliss

  
_just stay there_  
 _cause i'll be comin over_  
 _and while our bloods still young_  
 _it's so young_  
 _it runs_  
 _and we won't stop til it's over  
_ _won't stop to surrender_   


 

_1992-1993: A moment of Bliss_

"What would you say if I told you we never had to leave New York?" Dustin asked me as we walked through central park one last time.

"but we can't stay you know a vacation is only temporary."

"Humor me, what would you say?

"I would say when do we move in?"

"How does a month from now sound?"

"that sounds…wait a minute! Dustin are you serious we're moving here? Like actually staying here in New York."

"yup." I just stood there too shocked to say anything, I couldn't believe it one of my life long dreams was finally coming true and its bringing me that much closer to fulfilling my dream of making it on Broadway.

"B-but how? Where are we going to live? How are we going to pay rent? Our families our whole lives are still back in Boston are we really ready to leave that all behind?"

"Hey, hey come on I thought you wanted this, to live here be on Broadway."

"I do but our families."

"Have supported our dreams since the beginning and like you said they're in Boston that's only like a four hour drive so we can still see them on weekends and holidays. And you remember Tony from two nights ago the tenant in the apartment right above him just moved out and he talked to his land lord and he said we could have it we just have give him first month rent by the end of next week. As for our jobs well Tony said they're short a waiter where he works and a buddy of his needs a wedding singer."

"You really have this all planed out don't you?"

"Yes and all I need is for you to trust me. Everything will work out and just think about it a year from now we'll both be taking over Broadway!"

"I can't believe it after talking and dreaming about it for so long we're finally going to live here!"

So a month later we said goodbye to Boston and the only other life we had known and started a new life together in the city that never sleeps. Sure the apartment was small (only one bedroom, a bathroom, a tiny kitchen/living room) compared to five bedroom house I had grown up in and the 2 bedroom condo we Dustin and I lived in before but we were in New York and that's all that mattered. The first year and a half we couldn't be happier neither of had made it to Broadway just yet but we knew it would happen eventually. And I still got to sing granted a majority of the time no one was listening but there were those rare moments when someone would actually compliment my voice. Then there were those days when Dustin would take me out to dinner and we'd just explore the city always learning something new. Life was good it was wonderful that first year a half. Of course we had our arguments here and there some of them resulting in Dustin spending the night with Tony downstairs or one of us threating to leave the other. But what Husband and wife don't argue? We'd make up a day or two later and forget the whole thing ever happened. We loved each other and that's all that mattered.

_**That's when I made my next mistake ignoring the small warning signs. Those arguments that I thought were small and insignificant was just me seeing our world through rose-colored glasses. And I would keep those rose colored glasses on for the next six and a half years.** _


	3. A moment of unconditional love

  
_In my daughter's eyes I am a hero_  
 _I am strong and wise and I know no fear_  
 _But the truth is plain to see_  
 _She was sent to rescue me_  
 _I see who I wanna be  
_ _In my daughter's eyes_   


_1994: A moment of unconditional love_

I'm just going to lay here and close my eyes for five minutes and then I'll get started on dinner for Dustin and I. Just five minutes that's it.

"Shelby, Shelby wake up."

"huh! What I'm up! You're home! what time is it?"

"10 minutes past nine. How long have you been asleep?"

"Apparently two hours. I'm sorry I really wanted to make us dinner. But I guess rehearsal just wiped me out."

"Hey it's ok besides I took care of dinner." I gave him a skeptical look Dustin and the kitchen was like water and oil they'll never mix. "and by that I mean I picked up some Chinese."

"Well now I know it's safe to eat." We laughed and made our way to the kitchen I had barely opened my container of chow mein when a wave a nausea took over me I jumped off the sofa and barely made it to the toilet where I proceeded dry heave as there was nothing in my stomach to throw up since I hadn't eaten since lunch. This was the second time today and the fifth time this week that I've gotten nauseas.

"Shelbs? You ok?" I hear Dustin ask from the living room, jerk why didn't he get up and follow me? I walk back to the living room to see him watching a random scary movie.

"yea I'm fine."

"Maybe you should see a doctor tomorrow. You've been pretty tired this week and something tells me that wasn't the first time you've run to the bathroom to throw up. Here I got you some saltines I know you probably don't feel like eating anything but at least eat these cracker and some water ok?" All right so he's not a total jerk he did get me some crackers to eat.

"it's just rehearsals have gotten more intense we open in a month and this is only off-Broadway think about it in a year I could actually be on Broadway and you know rehearsals will only get more intense."

"yes I know but still it wouldn't hurt to see a doctor so he could at least prescribe you some medicine or something. Don't you have the day off tomorrow anyways?"

"Fine if it makes you happy I'll go the doctors tomorrow ok? Now what are we watching?" I ask as I climb on the couch and snuggle into his side.

"Shelby Corcoran?" (I kept my maiden name Shelby Goolsby just didn't sound right) I stood up and walked over to the nurse who had called my name. The nurse led me to a room after taking my height and weight, she then proceeded to take my blood pressure and temperature and then told me that the doctor would be with me shortly.

"good afternoon now what seems to have brought you in today Miss Corcoran?" the doctor asked as she walked into the room.

"please call me Shelby, anyways I've been pretty tired and been throwing up a lot for the past week. Honestly I think it's just because of work."

"oh what do you do?"

"I'm an actress our show is a month away from opening and I have been feeling a little more nervous as opening day looms closer."

"hmm it might be work like you said but first answer me this question do you have a boyfriend?"

"umm yes I'm actually married."

"ok now this ones important when was the first day of your last period?" That's when it hit me I missed my period completely this month and last month as well I had assumed it was the stress of the musical that caused me to skip them but with all the signs laid out in front of me it couldn't be any clearer. I was pregnant!

"No not now I can't be pregnant. My career finally starting to take off."

"hey hold on we don't know for sure so why don't I run some blood work and you come in next week and I'll have the results for you ok? But for now make sure you stay hydrated and have plenty of iron on your diet ok?" I nod my head still to stun to speak and twenty minutes later I'm walking home. I tell Dustin that I just have a bug like I thought and I'm going back next week for a follow up.

The week seemed to drag by but finally it was Friday and I once again found myself waiting anxiously for the doctor. "Am I pregnant?" I all but shout at the doctor when she walks through the door I wasn't one for beating around the bush and when I wanted to know something I got straight to the point.

"wow straight to the point huh? Yes Shelby you are indeed pregnant and somewhere about 12 weeks along. That means your already going into your second trimester…" The doctor continues saying what to expect and a bunch of other important info that doesn't really register in my brain. What am I going to do a baby wasn't a part of the plan(I mean I've always known I'd want to have kids at some point but not now when I was just setting my foot in the door of show business and now it seems as if that doors being slammed shut right in my face. And what will Dustin think of this? Can we afford a baby? Our apartment is barely big enough for Dustin and I and now we're adding a baby into the mix! How are we going to afford to pay for everything there's food diapers clothes, cribs and … my thoughts are interrupted when the doctor ask if I'd like to hear the babies heartbeat today. I feel myself nodding my head and asking "will I be able to see the baby on the ultrasound?"

"oh yes now lay back please and lift up your blouse for me about midway. Ok now this going to be a little cold." She tells me as she squirts some weird extremely cold(my god! Do they keep it in a bucket of ice or something? Why is everything in doctors' offices cold anyways!) gel on my stomach, she then grabs the ultrasound wand and starts to spread gel around looking for the baby. It takes a little while but then she stops and there on the screen is a little dark blob except this little blob already has little head and hands and toes and its already looking like a little human. And then all of sudden I hear this rhythmic thumping fill the room. I knew right then and there I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that my baby had the best life possible. I leave the doctors with a bunch of pamphlets on Lamaze classes the best foods to eat for the baby and what to avoid and a bunch of other important things to know.

Afterwards I take a cab to the nearest babies R' us and bought a few books on what to expect when expecting. As I'm waiting in line I notice a bunch of plush animals off to the side there's monkeys and rabbits and even a few cute looking dinosaurs but underneath all of those I see a white little ear with a gold star emblazoned on it I pull it out and it's a little lamb made of some of the softest material I had ever felt. I leave the store with a book and the little lamb that I know is first of many things I will be buying for this baby. Now how am I going to tell Dustin about this?

When I got home right as I walked through the door I was greeted with a bouquet of red roses and a kiss from Dustin. Something must've happened, he never does things like this randomly anymore.

"what did you do?" I ask.

"who says I did anything can't I just give my wife roses whenever I feel like it?"

"you can, but there's usually a reason behind the flowers. And considering my birthday was last month and our anniversary is not for another two I'm going to assume you did something."

"well fine I was going to wait until we were at the restaurant to tell you but since it seems like you think I did something wrong I'll just tell you now." He says as he takes my bags and the bouquet and sets them down on the sofa. "Do you remember last month how I had that audition for Tony from West Side Story?"

I nod my head waiting for him to continue "well the director called and I got the part!"

"What? No you didn't! You're going to be Tony? Oh my god baby I can't believe it you're actually going to be on Broadway!" I throw my arms around him as I feel a few tears come to my eyes. I wonder if I should still tell hmm about the pregnancy tonight I'll play it by ear and see what happens.

A couple hours later and we were a sitting down eating our dinner we weren't anywhere majorly fancy but it was nice to have someone else prepare our food. I decided that I'd bring up the topic of having a family right now and see how Dustin reacts instead of just jumping the gun and blurting out the news.

"So how do you feel about starting a family? You do want to have kids right?"

"I don't know I guess eventually yea it'd be cool to have a couple kids. But not now Shelby you know we can't have one now when both are careers are just taking off."

"oh."

"what is it shelby?"

"what do you mean?"

"I mean that was a pretty random topic to bring up when we've both agreed that we wouldn't try for kids until we were in our late 30's or we won two Tony's which ever came first."

"it wasn't that random I just wanted to know how you felt about having a baby!"

"Wait a minute are you trying to tell me you're pregnant?"

"yes, when I went to the doctors last week he ran a few blood test and I got the results today I'm 12 weeks pregnant." Dustin was silent the whole time I was talking and he still seemed to be frozen in shock right now. "Dustin, please say something."

"What are we going to do about it?" he whispered yell finally snapping out of his trance.

"What? What do you mean what are we going to do about it? We're raising this baby. I'm not having an abortion is that what you're suggesting?" I say raising my voice drawing some attention from the other patrons in the restaurant.

"What! No! I just…. Lets finish this at the apartment." He says while putting some money down on the table to cover the bill.

"No! I want to finish this conversation now!"

"We're causing a scene lets at least take this outside!" He tells me as he stands up and grabs my arm leading me outside of the restaurant. I pull my arm out of his grip and look at him waiting for an explanation.

"Let's get one thing clear ok I was not suggesting an abortion!" I'm a little relieved as he says that "I meant like are we going to give it up for adoption or maybe one of our parents could take it."

"No! did you not hear me back there this our baby half of you half of me nobody else is going to raise our child but you and me."

"how though Shelby how we live in a shoebox of an apartment and you have your show and I just got my show when are we going to have time for a kid! Let alone the money!"

"I don't know but we'll figure it out together." I tell him my eyes starting to water due to my hormones going all over the place. "Come on let's go home and we can talk about it some more and I can show you the picture of the ultrasound it's already so cute you can see the babies…

"No, I …. here take a cab home." He says handing me some money

"why? Dustin where are you going?"

"I just I need some space. Don't wait up I'll be home late." He tells me as he walks away.

I go home to an empty house and just crawl into bed crying quietly to my self. "Don't worry my little star mommy will never walk away from you." I say out loud to my stomach, which was thankfully still flat. I took a few moments to collect my self and decided to call my sister who was six years older than me and already had a son whom just turned two. Out of my two siblings I always turned to my sister for advice and my brother for when I wanted to get away with something. Both were older than me my brother only by two years though.

"Hello?"

"Julie, it's Shelby."

"Shelly jelly what's up!"

"why do you insist on calling me that? You know I hate it."

"I know you hate it that's why I insist on using it. But what's going on Dustin's treating you ok right?"

"yea but…"

"But what? There's no buts it's a yes or no answer! What he did he do Shelby do I need go down there and kick his ass for you?" My sister great advice giver once you get her to stop having a conversation with herself.

"Julie! I'm pregnant!" I finally decide to yell effectively stopping her mid rant.

"did you just say you're pregnant?"

"yes 12 weeks I just found out today."

"wow! How do you feel?"

"A little nervous, scared shitless but excited and happy and oh Julie I heard the heartbeat today and wow is it possible to love someone this much whom you haven't even met?"

"Yes crazy at seems to love somebody that much. But you really are ready for this aren't you? I mean I know you're life plan didn't include kid till after you won a Tony."

"Yea I mean I kinda have to be."

"Have you told Dustin what does he think about this?"

"That's actually the other reason I called for" I went on to explain what happened earlier tonight telling her everything from him landing the part right up to him walking away saying he needed space.

"he's going to come back right Julie? What if he doesn't and I have to raise this baby on my own! I don't think I could do that Julie. I don't know the first thing about raising a baby."

"hey first of all you'd never be on your own you'd have me, mom, dad, David(my brother) Michael(her husband) and even little Matthew(her son) by your side. And hello you've watched Matt for me plenty of times and besides once you hold that little baby in your arms your maternal instincts kick in and you'll know what to do. Now as for Dustin I'm not sure Shelby I mean maybe he just needs sometime to clear his head. But if he not home by tomorrow morning just call me ok and we'll talk some more." After that we talked a little more Julie giving me some advice on the pregnancy and slightly jealous that I wasn't showing yet(Matthew had been a chubby baby causing Julie to show right away) and I made her promise to keep the pregnancy a secret god forbid mom finds out that I told Julie first I wouldn't hear the end of it. We said goodbye promising to talk again soon and that she'd get to take care of the baby shower. I fell asleep sometime later.

The next morning I woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, I got out of bed and my way to the kitchen to find Dustin holding a tray with a plate of bacon, pancakes and a glass of orange juice.

"hi, I was going to take this to you so you could eat in bed." He said gesturing to the tray.

"oh." He put the tray down on the table while I took a seat looking at him waiting to see if he had anything else to say.

He went to the living room and grabbed a gift bag set it down in front of me gesturing for me to open the bag, which I did. I reached into the bag and pulled out a soft lavender baby blanket decorated with gold stars and moons. Underneath that was some newspaper clippings of the real estate section, I looked up at him in confusion. He takes the seat across from me and starts to explain the gifts "I know gold stars are kind of your thing so I thought they could be the babies thing too. And those are just a few apartments that we can afford most are two bedroom but there's this one three bedroom apartment that I think you'd like that I'm pretty sure we can afford."

"Why would we need three rooms?"

"well you know incase we ever decide to give this baby a little brother or sister. Shelby I can't tell you how sorry I am for what I did last night. But I do want to raise this baby with you I just freaked out last night thinking that in a short few months I'll be responsible for this little persons very life. Please forgive me Shelby." He tells me while holding onto my hands. I look at the blanket and newspaper clippings and then back at him and just launch my self at him.

"please just don't scare me like that again I thought you weren't coming back!" I tell him with tears streaming down my face.

After that life just seemed to get better we moved into the three bed room that Dustin had mentioned three months later. I was able to stay with my show up until I was about 6 ½ months (I had started showing too much to hide it easily) and Dustin's show was moving along well also. Both our families were excited and made us promise to go and visit for Thanksgiving. At first we wanted to keep the babies gender a surprise but when the doctor asked us if we wanted to know we both responded right away with yes! We found out we were having a little girl which made buying clothes and decorating the nursery a whole lot easier. My sister and her family came down in the middle of October and to help us paint and set up the nursery which we did in a garden theme so that it wouldn't be too babyish for when she got a little older. Before we knew it I was only a couple weeks away from my due date.

"come on little star easy on the kicks lets give mama a break ok?" I said talking and rubbing my pregnant belly at the same time as I took a seat next to Dustin on the couch.

"baby treating your stomach like a soccer ball?"

"yes! All morning I tried singing to her like I usually do but that just seemed to make her more excited."

"you sure it's not contractions?"

"I'm not due for another two weeks."

"Something tells me that this little one is like her mom and doesn't listen to anyone and she'll come out when she feels like it even if she's early." I was about to respond when I felt warm liquid rush down my leg. My water had broke. Dustin had freaked out at first running around the apartment in circles before finally grabbing my hospital bag and running to hail a cab and coming back to help me get in the cab. I has thought that since my water had broken that labor would be relatively quick but oh no my wonderful little daughter decided I should go through 36 more hours of torture. But finally on December 4th at 3:34 am my little star was finally brought into the world.

She was a tiny little thing only weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces with a little tuft of brown hair and the strongest pair of lungs I had ever heard (there was no doubt that she was Dustin and mines daughter with those lungs).

"She still needs a name." Dustin said bringing me out of my trance as I held her mesmerized by how something so tiny could be this perfect.

"What do you think of Rachel?"

"I think it's perfect. Any reason behind the name?"

"it means little lamb and lambs are pure and innocent which is exactly what she is."

"Well it's beautiful how about Elizabeth for her middle name?"

"Rachel Elizabeth." I said testing out the name and right when I said it she opened up her huge eyes and looked up at me. Yes Rachel Elizabeth it is.

"hi Rachel I'm your mommy. You know the one who's been singing to you for the past nine months." She started to whimper a little bit so I started to softly sing her a lullaby.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away."

As I was singing Dustin went outside to the waiting room to bring in our parents who had been waiting at the hospital for the past 12 hours to meet their granddaughter.

"I know the world seems big and scary little star but believe me when I say I'll be there to protect you and show you how wonderful it can really be. You and I are going to have plenty of adventures but those adventures can wait for now you just sleep. Mama will be hear when you wake up ready to go on adventure with you."

_**That was the first time I known I had done something right by bringing this shining star into the world.** _


	4. A moment full if first and fairytales

  
_In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal  
_ _Darkness turns to light and the  
_ _world is at peace  
_ _This miracle God gave to me gives me  
_ _strength when I am weak  
_ _I find reason to believe  
_ _In my daughter's eyes_   


_1995-1997:A moment full of firsts._

_**1995:** _

"Happy Birthday dear Rachel, happy birthday to you!"

As the singing came to an end Rachel just looked at everyone in confusion before trying to wiggle her way out of my arms to the cake whining a bit and scowling at me as if to say 'you've kept me from that cake long enough!' when she realized I wasn't letting her go.

"hold on sweetie we have to wait for daddy to cut the cake first." I tell her.

As I feed her some cake to which she happily hums every time she gets a piece in her mouth (her little way of letting me know she enjoys what she's eating) I think back on the past year it's crazy to think it's already been a year since I've give birth to Rachel. So many milestones were crossed like the first time she crawled, her first steps(although she still preferred crawling or if she wanted to walk she held onto either Dustin or mines fingers and did a little tippy toe kind of walk), her first word, which had been mama closely followed a week later by dada. And there are still so many first yet to come.

And now here we are celebrating her first birthday with my family; Dustin's had visited two weeks ago. Currently my father was holding Rachel in his lap while 3-year-old Matthew played peek-a-boo with her, which was making her smile and giggle like crazy and in turn made him laugh as well. I saw my sister snap a picture of the two I'd have to make sure I got a copy, that picture was bound to come out ridiculously cute. After a few more minutes of the game I could see that Rachel was getting bored and fussy telling me it was time for her nap. I was about to get up when Dustin stopped me saying he'd take care of it, knowing that my family was here for so long and he knew I wanted to spend as much time with them as I could before they went back to Boston.

Dustin was really an amazing dad. He adored Rachel, she had him wrapped around her little finger(well then again anyone that had met Rachel was wrapped around her finger) on most of his days off he'd take care of her for the day giving me a little brake or we'd go out into the city and just spend the day together as a family. Rachel just seemed to make our lives so much brighter.

_**1996:** _

"hmm I wonder where my little star can be?" I sing songed while playing a game of hide and seek with Rachel before I had to leave for work. I hear a giggle and see two little feet peeking out from behind the window curtain; her favorite hiding spot. "oh well I can't find her guess I'm just going to have to give up."

"Boo! Here am mommy!" she says jumping out of her hiding spot.

"Ah! There you are come here you the tickle monsters been looking for you!" I tell her as she starts to run around the living room. I catch her and bring her to the couch where I start to tickle her all over.

"hahaha mommy, stop no more tickles."

"say the magic words."

"Pweas!"

"Alright come on now little star let's go see what your daddy's doing." I tell her as I set her down on the ground letting her scamper ahead of me to the master bedroom, where I know Dustin is pretending to sleep.

"Mommy we have to be shhh!" she tells me as she brings her finger to her lips to make the shushing sound.

"But why?" I ask her.

"cause daddy is sleeeeping" she says dragging out the es.

"Are you sure?" I ask her as she turns her whole body to look at me so she doesn't see Dustin 'wake up' behind her.

"yes…ah!" she shrieks as Dustin grabs her from behind tossing her in the air before cradling her to his chest.

"Daddy you up!"

"I am. Now come on love bug let's go make mommy a lunch so she has something to eat at work." He tells her as they walk out of the room together leaving me to finish getting ready. I had recently been hired as a music teacher at a local middle school it was only 3 days out of the week for two hours but the pay was good and I enjoyed teaching. It had been hard at first on both Rachel and I who were used to being with each other 24/7 basically. But we got used to it eventually. And this job was only temporary I still planned on going back to the stage and auditioning for shows but not until Rachel started school at least.

"bye honey and thank you for lunch." I tell Dustin as I grab my lunch and give him a kiss.

"Alright Rachel come give your mama a kiss good bye." Dustin calls to her. She comes running at me arms stretched out so I can pick her up.

"mmmwaaa! Bye, bye mommy I love yous."

"love you to little star be good for daddy ok?" I tell her as I hand her back to Dustin.

"otay! Bye!"

As I walk down the sidewalk I turn around and can still see her waving to me from the window waiting for me to wave back and of course I do like I always do.

_**1997:** _

Let's see the house is clean, errands are done, dinner is in the oven but I still feel like something's off. I take a seat at the dining room table just soaking in the silence that is so rare to come by sometimes. Wait a minute, it's quiet too quiet! "Rachel!" something tells me that little girl is up to no good. "What are you doing sweetie?" I call out to her getting up from my spot at the table.

"uhh coloring?" she says but more as a question.

As I make my way to the hallway I find my little artist drawing a sun…on the walls.

"Rachel!" she stops what she's doing and turns to look at me with some of the biggest eyes I had ever seen, trying to act innocent because she knows I've already reprimanded her for drawing on the walls before.

"Yes mama?" I know she knows she's in trouble

"What is this?" I ask her pointing to the wall.

"My dwaing, see see dats me and you at the park and, and over dere dats daddy he's singing the Maria song on bwoad" her eyebrows scrunch up a bit as she tries to pronounce the word "bwoadway. Mama, we go to the park today? I want to go on the swing! I be back I needs my shoes." She tells me starting to walk to her room hoping that she's distracted me enough that I've forgotten about the wall art.

"Rachel Elizabeth you stop right there." I tell her in I mean business voice. " now turn around and come back here." She walks back slowly with her head down little crocodile tears at the corners of her eyes already. Oh yes my daughter at the age of 3 already knew how to cry on demand, she would definitely make an excellent actress when she got older.

"yes mama?"

"what have I told you about coloring on the walls?"

"Not too."

"so you knew what you were doing was bad but did it anyway?" She nods her head some tears trickling down her face.

"I sowy mama."

" I forgive you" I tell her bending down and wiping her tears "but you still need to go sit down in the time out corner for three minutes."

"but I say sowy!"

"I know you did but that doesn't mean you don't get a time out. Now go on you know where to go." I tell her giving her a little nudge in the direction of the living room where there was a little chair in the corner for when she misbehaved and lately you could say that little chair and her had become best friends with the amount of time she spends over there. From what my mother and sister had told me she was just testing my limits seeing how much she could get away with, and not to worry it's just a phase and it should pass soon. I walk to the bathroom and grab the cleaning supplies but not before taking a quick picture of the drawing because it was too cute not t take a picture of.

"I'm home!" I hear Dustin yell as he walks through the front door. I walk over to the living room to greet him.

"daddy!" Rachel yells running and giving him a hug I let her say a quick hi before telling her to go back to the corner.

"humph! You so mean mommy!"

"come on now Rachel you only have one more minute."

"One minute that's forever!" she says as she sits down sulking staring at the wall. The rest of the evening passes by like normal dinner, a bath for Rachel, and then tucking her in for the night after Dustin reads her a story and I sing her a song.

Finally Dustin and I were laying down in our bedroom, I started to kiss him along his jaw line hoping he'd get the message of me wanting to be intimate with him tonight. It had been a while since we had been together as husband and wife.

"Not tonight Shelby besides Rachel's asleep right across the hall."

"you know she sleeps like the dead come on it's been forever since last time. And between work, your musical and taking care of Rach I just miss being able to do this with you." I tell him while climbing over him and delivering kisses to chest and face.

"I'm just not in the mood Shelby."

"you never seem to be in the mood anymore." I say as get off of him and lay back down on my side of the bed, turning away from him.

"Awe Shelbs I'm sorry I'm just tired come on how about this Saturday we get a sitter for Rachel and we go out just the two of us?"

"really?"

"yes just the two of us." I give him one more kiss before snuggling up to him and falling asleep next to him a little while later.

"You look extra pretty mommy. Like a princess!" Rachel tells me as I walk out of my room all dressed up and grab my purse getting ready to head out the door.

"Thank you sweetie. Now you listen to Kelly and be on your best behavior for her. Ok?"

"Don't worry Ms. Corcoran Rachel and I will have loads of fun tonight I even brought some fancy hats and necklaces so we can have a tea party later."

"yay! Otay mommy you can go now. Come on Kelly lets go play tea party now." She tells the 16 year old as she starts to drag her down the hall to her room.

"hey don't I get a kiss and hug good bye first?"

"oh!" she exclaims before running back to give me a hug and a kiss. I turn to Kelly and remind her where the emergency numbers are and what restaurant Dustin and I would be at, and that we'd be home by nine.

"And remember Rachel needs to be in bed by eight ok?"

"Got it! Now go have good time everything will be fine here."

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting down at the restaurant where Dustin had gotten us a reservation, waiting for him. He had told me he'd meet me here right after his show had ended, which was a little over an hour and a half ago. Where was he? I figured he'd be at the most 20 minutes late but an hour and thirty minutes? The restaurant was only like a ten-minute walk from the theater. I was now waiting outside the restaurant about to walk over to the theater Dustin preforms at to see if he was still there. Right when I turned to start walking in the direction of the theater I bump into someone causing me to lose my balance thankfully they catch me before I hit the ground. When I straighten myself out and look up to thank who ever caught me I see it's actually Dustin.

"Shelby, sorry didn't see you there. Where are you going?"

"Home now I guess. Where the hell were you? I've been waiting here for over an hour and a half!"

"I'm so sorry, the director wanted me to meet some friends of his and we started talking about this new project he's working on and…"

"Is that lipstick on your cheek?"

"Huh? Oh uh yea must missed that from when Sarah [his co-star who plays Maria] kissed me in the last act." He says quickly rubbing off the make up stain.

"So what you couldn't say excuse me but I'm standing up my wife by staying here and talking."

"Shelby we were discussing the possibility of me originating the staring role in his new project you know original roles are harder to come by!"

"Yes but if he really wanted you he would've understood that your family comes first! You said tonight it would just be us! I just feel like you're pulling away from me but I don't know why."

"Shelby you know I love you and your right you and Rachel come first. How long do you have the baby sitter for?"

"Until nine."

"We still have a little over an hour why don't we go dancing or something?"

"Ok but you still owe me a date."

_**That was one of my other mistakes I made excusing Dustin's pulling away from me as a result of being tired from work.** _

* * *

  
_It's the age of princesses and pirate ships  
_ _And the seven dwarfs  
_ _Daddy's smart  
_ _And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world  
_ _And I know I had the best day  
_ _with you today_   


__1998-1999: A moment full of fairytales._   
_

_**1998:** _

"Rachie wake up! It's Christmas!"

"No I go back to bed!"

"But Rachie don't you want to see the presents Santa left there's like a hundred down there!"

"Presents! Why didn't you say that first! Come on Mattie we have to go wake everyone up!"

"Ok I'll wake up my mom and dad and you wake up your mom and dad and I think grandma and grandpa are awake already."

"Ok race ya!"

"Winner gets to open the first present!"

"Ready..."

"Set…"

"Go!" I ran down the hall to where mommy and daddy were sleeping and started to jump up and down on the bed yelling for them to get up.

"Wake up! Wake up! It Christmas!" Mommy just turned over on her side and told me "just 5 more minutes little star please?"

"No now! Mattie and I are racing and I have to win so, I can open my presents first!"

"Hmm a race you hear that Dustin? You better get up so Rachel can win"

"Why me?"

"Because nobody can get Julie out of bed before noon. So I can sleep in for 10 more minutes and still win."

"Then so can I"

"Nope you're still racing against Michael."

"I'm gonna win!" I hear Mattie yell from down the hall.

"Oh no come on daddy lets go we can't let Mattie and uncle Mike win!" I tell him while trying to pull him out of bed.

" Come on love bug climb on my back." I climb up onto my daddy's back and yell, "go!" we see Mattie and uncle mike come running up ahead of us and I yell for daddy to run faster.

"And the winner by a hair..." my grandpa says as we get to the living room. "Is Matt and Michael!"

"Awe no fair!"

"Sorry sweet heart looks like we lost this time."

"That's ok daddy I still love you. We win next time. Mommy you awake so now we can open presents right Grandma?" I ask grandma as I run to give my mommy a hug.

"Nope were still waiting for your uncle David to get here."

"Did someone say my name?"

"Uncle David you're here now we can open presents!" Mattie shouted as uncle David walked through the door.

"Nope not until your mom wakes up Matthew. Hmm but I'll tell you what whoever wakes up Aunt Julie first will get to have a cookie before breakfast."

"aunt Julie!"

"mom!" we both shouted Matthew running up the stairs before me because mommy wouldn't put me down.

"Mommy let me go! I needs to wake up aunt Julie!"

"I know that's why I'm going to tell you the trick to waking her up." She said before whispering in my ear what to tell aunt Julie.

When I walked into the room Mattie was jumping on the bed but Aunt Julie was still asleep.

"we'll never get her up and then we'll have to wait till were like 20 to open our Christmas presents!

"I know how to get her up watch!" I went next to aunt Julie and whispered what mommy told me to in her ear and then stepped back pulling Mattie with me so we wouldn't gets runned over by aunt Julie.

"David! You're so dead!" aunt Julie shouted as she ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"what did you tell her?"

"that uncle David threw all her clothes in the mud."

After grandma told aunt Julie to stop chasing uncle David [mommy was just laughing the whole time but grandma gave her an angry stare so she stopped] we opened presents and then ate some chocolate chip pancakes that mommy and aunt Julie made (but grandma let me eat a snicker doodle that I shared with Mattie first).

After breakfast daddy and uncle mike called Mattie and I to the living room.

"ok so we have one last Christmas present for both of you." Uncle Mike said as him and daddy pointed to the Christmas tree where there were two boxes with holes in them. When we got closer the top of box with my name moved. Mattie and I counted to three and opened them at the same time and when we did out jumped a puppy!

"A puppy! Mommy look, look I got a puppy." I told her as I picked up the puppy and ran to her.

"I see both you and Matthew did what are you guys going to name them?"

"We get to keep it for reals?"

"yes its present from me and daddy for being extra good this year. So think of a name for her so we know what to call her ok?"

"hmm that's hard. I'm going to see what Mattie calls his puppy."

"I named mines Charlie what are you naming yours Rachie?"

"I no know."

"here maybe eating another snicker doodle will help." He says giving me half of his cookie. Right when I grab the cookie my puppy starts to jump on me trying to eat my cookie!

"hey no you can't eat my snicker doodle! Mommy daddy I know what I'm going to names her!"

"what's her name love bug?"

"Mia Snicker doodle the four! But I call her Mia for short."

"why is her name Mia Snicker doodle the four?" mommy ask me.

"Mia cause it's pretty, Snicker doodle cause she keeps trying to eat mines and she's the four in our family. Daddy's number one Mommy's number two, I'm number 3 so Mia's number 4!"

"oh well that's a very pretty name sweetie now why don't you go play with her before it's time for your nap."

"Mommy I too big for naps!"

"Mia can sleep on the bed with you."

"really? Ok."

"come on Mia lets go play with my toys I got!"

This is the best Christmas ever!

_Early 1999:_

"mmmwwwaaa! Have fun at the zoo with daddy." mommy tells me as she gives me a kiss.

"why can't you come too?"

"because I have work today but when you get home I want to hear all about it so you try and remember everything ok?"

"ok bye mommy I love you! Daddy I'm ready to go!"

At first it was only me and daddy at the zoo but when we got to the monkeys this lady with short brown hair and a short dress came up to my daddy and hugged him and then they kissed each other on the lips! What? Why did they do that? Only mommies and daddies are supposed to kiss on the lips!

"Daddy!"

"oh Rachel come here love bug I want you to meet a friend of daddy's."

"hi Rachel it's very nice to finally meet you! My names Amy and your daddy's told me so much about you he says that you're an amazing singer, you know I sing on Broadway with your dad."

"Why did you kiss my daddy on the lips?"

"oh! Well ummm…"

"Daddy why did you guys kiss on the lips? I thought only mommies and daddies can do that."

"well you see love bug that's just the way some grown ups say hi to one another."

"But…"

"why don't we keep this a secret though if you do I'll buy you two toys from the gift shop ok?"

"umm ok."

"now how about we go see some tigers!"

"So how was the zoo yesterday with daddy?" mommy asked me while I was eating my coco puffs.

"it was ok."

"why only ok?"

"cause daddy's friend Amy came and daddy talked to her more than me. And she was holding daddy's hand but then I would get in the middle so daddy couldn't hold her hand but then she'd just hold his other hand! And I don't like her mommy! it was supposed to be me and daddy's day not daddy, Rachel and Amy day! And you know what else she did mommy? Her and daddy kissed on the lips three times! I asked daddy why and he said that's just how some grown-ups say hello. But I never see you say hello like that with your friends afore!"

"they kissed?"

"yup on the lips it was gross! Oh no I was supposed to keep the kiss a secret! Do you think daddy will be mad?" when I looked up at mommy her face looked really white like when she gets sick.

"mommy? you look sick are you sick? Maybe you need a nap."

"what? Umm no sweetie I'm not sick but you know what mommy is a little tired so I'm going to go lie down for a little while why don't you go watch a movie in the living room ok sweetie?"

"ok mommy! when you wake up we can watch little mermaid together!"

_**What the fairytales never told me was that not all kisses brought happily ever after, some kisses compelty destroyed the happy endings.** _


	5. A moment full of betrayal

__

  
_It's hangin' on when your heart_  
 _has had enough_  
 _It's giving more when you feel like giving up_  
 _I've seen the light  
_ _It's in my daughter's eyes_   


_1999: _A moment full of betrayal__

What do I do? I'm so confused; my four-year-old daughter basically just told me that my husband is cheating on me. Am I crazy for actually believing her? Dustin has been pulling away more and more, then there was that night a couple weeks ago when he came home smelling like perfume, but maybe he just got sprayed accidently running around backstage at his show while getting ready, it is like a circus back there before any show. And he has been getting home really late too, but maybe he just gets held up in traffic or at the stage door by fans. You know what I need to just stop I'm jumping to conclusions over something my dramatic and exaggerative four year old said. I decided to actually take a short nap hoping it would clear my head and allow me to think clearly. But when I woke up forty minutes later I still felt somewhat confused but I had to ignore my confusion I had my daughter to take care of (one could only imagine the mess Rachel had made with forty minutes to herself) and a house to clean right now.

I walked into the living room to find it transformed into my daughters room. She seems to have brought everything but her bed to the living room and that's only cause it's too heavy for her to pull. Speaking of Rachel where is she? "Rachel?"

"Mommy!" I hear a little voice squeak out from the direction of the couch that has a mountain of stuffed animals on top of it.

"Sweetie where are you?"

"Over here!" She responds as I see the top of the plushy mountain topple down and her little head pop up.

"Rachie what is all this? I though I told you to watch a movie?"

"I was but then I wanted to waits for you so I decided to make my own movie! And right now I'm in the cave of wonders like in Aladdin!"

I had to hold back a chuckle at my daughter's imagination.

"Well I'm sorry to say but play times over little miss Aladdin."

"Mommy! I can't be Aladdin he's a boy! I'm Princess Jasmine!"

"Oh! Excuse me princess jasmine it's time to clean up now."

"Awe! Do I haves too?" she asked me looking up at me with huge puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, come on we have a lot to do today."

"Like what?"

"Hmm we have to take Mia out for her daily walk, then mommy needs to come home and clean the house and make us some lunch and then take you to your dance class…"

"Can we go to the park too?"

"Hmm I guess we can stop at the park while we walk Mia but first we need to put all of this back in your room." I tell her as I start to pick up a few of her toys."

"Mommy, oomph! I'm stuck!" I hear her tell me as she struggles to get free from the confines of her stuffed animal 'cave of wonders'.

"Ok let's see lift up your arms mommy's going to pull you up on the count of three ready 1…2.3!" as lift her up and out of the pile she snuggles into my arms before asking me to put her down.

"And where do you think you're going little missy?" I ask as she starts to tiptoe out of the room.

"Uhhhh my room?"

"Nope not yet we you know we have to put all of this away first."

After finally getting everything back to her room and putting everything back in it's rightful place we both got our coats on and headed out for our walk with Rachel holding Mia on the leash in one hand and her other hand holding mines. When we get to the park I take Mia from Rachel allowing her to go play in the jungle gym for a little while before we head back home. On the way home Rachel starts dragging her feet and I can tell she is due for a nap, so I pick her up and carry her the last few feet home. I lay her down in her room for a nap that; thankfully she was to tired to fight today, and then proceed to start cleaning up the house.

A couple of hours later I was finishing up lunch for Rachel and I, when I felt somebody crash into my legs and wrap their arms around them. I look down to see Rachel looking back up at me with a sleepy smile.

"Good afternoon sleeping beauty!" I tell her as I bend down and pick her up and hold her against my hip with one arm allowing me to finish our lunch with the other. She lays her head on my shoulder still waking up from her nap before responding with a "hi. I'm hungry."

"Give mommy five more minutes then you can eat your mac and cheese."

"Mac and Cheese?" she said now fully awake and excited over the prospect of having her favorite meal. After finishing our lunch I got Rachel ready for her dance class and an hour later we walking into small dance studio.

"Are you going to watch me mommy?"

"Only for a little while today. Mommy has to go take care of one last errand so I'll watch the beginning ok?" I told her as I helped her into her ballet slippers Normally I would stay and watch her through out the whole practice but I couldn't stop thinking about what Rachel had said earlier about Dustin and I just had a weird feeling in my gut that it was true. So I had decided I would go down to the theater and surprise Dustin on his lunch break, which had just started. After watching the first twenty minutes of Rachel's class I left and made my way to the theater where Dustin's show preformed and rehearsed at. It was pretty empty back stage, as I walked down the hall towards the dressing rooms I could hear some thumps and something falling to the ground followed by a moan? The moans seemed to be getting louder as I got closer to Dustin's dressing room. They were coming from Dustin's dressing room I realized as I stood in front of the closed door, my hand just above the doorknob. I didn't want to open the door but my body had a mind of it's own in that moment. I didn't scream, I didn't run in and slap him I did nothing one would expect to do if they found their husband with his pants around his ankles and a woman wrapped around his waist. I was too numb to react outrageously as I turned around I could see that Dustin had finally noticed my presence. As I walked further down the hall I could hear him yelling for me to 'wait' that he 'could explain' that 'it wasn't what it looked like'. But I didn't stop what was there left to explain? How could it not be what it looked like?

The next few months after that were a blur of divorce lawyers and custody agreements. We agreed to have joint custody of Rachel, with Dustin having her every other weekend. We explained as best we could to Rachel what was going on but she just seemed to think that Dustin was going on some type of vacation. Today Dustin was finally taking the last of his items out of the house.

"Daddy! Wait I go on vacation with you too! Wait for me!" We hear Rachel yell as she comes running out of her room dressed up in her ladybug costume (it was from her dance recital that she had preformed in last month and she wore it every chance she got) with her little roller suitcase trailing behind her. "Ok daddy I ready. Where are we going?"

"oh Rachie…" I started to say but Dustin cuts me off

" Shelby let me explain please?" he asked. I nodded allowing him to continue.

"Splain what?"

"Love bug come here." He tells her taking a seat on the sofa and sitting her on his lap. "love bug do you remember when me and mommy told you that mommy and me are getting a divorce?"

"Yes, you said that you and mommy are not going to live in the same house any more cause your going to live somewhere else like a vacation! But that's only for a little while right? You're going to come home tomorrow and we can play tea party!"

"No sweet heart, this is not for a little while, Daddy is not going to live with you or mommy any more." She let's out a gasp upon hearing this, and tears spring to her eyes, it breaks my heart.

"b-but why? Is it cause mommy yelled at you? Did she forget to tell you sorry?" I guess she did hear a few of our yelling matches that we had while we thought she was sleeping.

"No love bug it's not your mommy's fault. It's da…"

I stop Dustin before he can continue, I didn't want her trust in Dustin to be compromised, her whole life was already being turned upside down as it is. "It's no ones fault little star mommy and daddy just don't love each other anymore but we still love you so much ok?" she nods her head letting a few tears escape, that Dustin quickly wipes away.

"hey now no sad faces we'll still hang out. You're coming to daddy's for a sleep over on Friday! We'll eat pizza and go to the park doesn't that sound fun?"

"yes. But I don't want you to leave daddy! can't you and mommy kiss and love each other again?Like in the prince and princess in my storybook?" She asks while hugging and crying into Dustin's neck.

"I wish it was that easy love bug." He holds her a little while longer until we hear the cab he called for honk outside. He stands up setting her on her feet. "I have to go now love bug." He tells her gathering his stuff and walking out the door. She runs after him with me running after her.

"Daddy!" She yells running up to Dustin who catches her and picks her up. "I love you! You love me right?"

"oh yes I love you so much my little love bug! And remember I'll see you Friday ok?"

"Pwomise?"

"I promise! Now give you give your daddy a big hug and a kiss." She did and then Dustin set her back down "Now you behave for your mommy ok?"

"otay."

As he climbs into the cab and shuts the door Rachel comes running back to me asking to be picked up. I pick her up and I stand there allowing her to wave goodbye to Dustin until the cab disappeared from view. As soon as the cab is out of sight she buries her head into my neck and starts to cry a little harder as we walk back inside. I rub her back and start to hum her a lullaby, which slowly calms her down and eventually reduces her tears to a few sniffles.

"How about we go get some ice cream? How does that sound little star?" I ask her hoping to get her mind off of everything that had just happened.

"Can I get a banana split?"

"hmm can mommy share it with you?"

"Yes. Mommy you'll never leave me right?" at first I'm a little shocked by her question but I quickly realize where her question is coming from.

"Sweetie you know your daddy didn't want to leave right?"

"yes. But  _ **you**_ wont leave me ever right mama?" She asks again tears once again coming to her eyes. I instantly wrap her up in hug and tell her "Never little star. I promise you Rachel, Mommy will never ever leave you."

_**oh how i wished in that moment to take away my daughter's pain and sadness to prove to her that even though the prince and princess don't stay together that fairytales can still have a happy ending. But it was too late her fairytale world had just come crashing down into reality.** _


	6. Snapshots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW if you ever see any other chapter in the future titled snapshots that means it's a filler/kinda like a one shot chapter.
> 
> A signature is basically a note that is sent home to the guardian of a child who misbehaved during class.

_**2003: Snapshots** _

_**Rachel** _

"So how mad do you think your mom will be?" my friend Scarlett asked as we sat outside on the steps of the school waiting for our moms to pick us up.

"About the signature? Please Scarlett she wont be mad at me if anything she'll be mad at Mrs. Gonzalez for teaching us the wrong material."

"I don't know Rach isn't this like the second or third time you've had to get your mom's signature? I know my mom would be pretty mad if it was me."

"Hmm well then I'll just have to put my superb acting skills to use. If she starts to get really angry I'll just start crying and then she'll feel bad for making me cry and forget about the whole thing."

"Well good luck with that plan. Anyways have you gotten Avril Lavigne's new cd yet?"

We continue talking for a little while until I hear someone call my name.

"Mom! Bye Scarlett! I'll see you Monday!" I yell to my friend as I run down the steps to meet my mom.

"Hi sweetie. How was school?"

"Good, today at lunch though Jeremy and Kyle were acting really weird and goofy and they made Natalie laugh so hard that milk came out of her nose!"

"Well that sounds…kind of gross."

"It was gross! But it was still way funny!"

"So do you have a lot of homework?"

"No just need to finish my times tables work sheet." I told her as we walked into our apartment building.

"Alright well you finish that I'm going to finish grading some papers ok? Let mommy know if you need help sweetie."

As I finished my homework I decided it was time to bring up the note that she needed to sign but first to make sure she was on my side.

"Mama?"

"Hmm, yes do you need help with a problem pumpkin?"

"No I finished already. I have a question." She nods telling me to continue. "Elphaba is not really wicked right? It was really the wizard? And Elphie was just a escapedgoat right?"

"I think you mean scapegoat but yes that's basically what happened. Why?"

"I told Mrs. Gonzalez she was wrong! She probably just gave me this signature cause she was mad she that she was wrong"

"What's this I hear about a signature?" I look up at my mom too see she's waiting for an explanation.

"Uh did I say signature I meant a sticker?" I tell her giving her one of my award winning smiles that I've been told could light up a room.

"Let me see the note Rachel."

"I told you I don't have a note I got a sticker."

"Rachel you know how I feel about lying so you have one more chance to tell me the truth. Did you get a signature today?" She ask me while looking directly in my eyes, I thought about denying it again but then remembered she gets even madder when she finds out lied and some how she always finds out no matter what I do.

"Yes I did." I tell her pulling the note out of my folder and handing it over.

She sighs "Rachel this is the second one this month. You know if you get a third one they'll keep you inside for morning and lunch recess." She quickly reads the note. "It says here that you were being rude and disrespectful and continued to talk after Mrs. Gonzalez asked you multiple times to stop…"

"I was just expressing my opinion and letting Mrs. Gonzalez know that the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of OZ is actually named Elphaba and that she's not Wicked at all! And that the wizard is really the evil one and mama didn't you tell me to always express my opinions!"

"Yes I did but Rachel there are certain times when we have to keep our opinions to ourselves. And especially when the teacher asked you to stop talking…"

"But she was wrong! And I didn't think it was fair for my classmates and myself to be learning the wrong material…."

"That's not the point did Mrs. Gonzalez ask you to stop talking or not?"

"She did."

"Alright on Monday I want you to apologize to her for disrupting class and this weekend I'm confiscating your Wicked soundtrack."

"What! No mom that's not fair!"

"It is this is the second signature you've gotten Rachel you're lucky that I'm only taking away the CD for the weekend. Now go get it for me."

I come back with the CD and I start to "cry" as I hand it over to her.

"Mommy do I have to? Can't I just say sorry?"

"Oh sweet heart nice try but you can't fool me. Now go grab Mia's leash it's time for her walk." I looked at her shocked and immediately cease my tears before turning around and stomping off to do what she said.

"Rachel! You know how I feel about stomping around in the house!" she yells after me.

As we're walking Mia my mood lightens and pretty soon mommy and me are laughing and talking and making up funny stories about the people we see on the street.

"See the man over there with trench coat he's a detective for the circus!" Mommy whispers in my ear.

"Why would the circus need a detective? That's just silly!"

"I don't know you tell me."

"Uhh I know! He's trying to find this purple and pink polka-dotted giraffe that's actually disguised as that lady over there!"

"A giraffe that turns into a lady? Now that is definitely silly."

"It's not a regular giraffe it's a purple and pink polka-dotted giraffe! Which means it has magical powers hello get with the program mommy!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I forgot that it was magical. So Halloween's coming up do you know what you want to be?"

"Hmm I have a few ideas."


	7. A moment of jealousy

_And I thank God for all the joy in my life,_

_But most of all... Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer._

_Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair._

_Walk beside the pony daddy, its my first ride."_

_I know the cake looks funny, mommy, but I sure tried._

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong,_

_I must have done something right._

_To deserve a hug every morning_

_and butterfly kisses at night._

_2003: A moment of jealousy_

_**Shelby's POV:** _

"Everything you need is packed up and ready to go?" I ask Rachel as I walk into her room where she had just finished packing her bag for the weekend she would be spending at Dustin's.

"Yup! I'm all ready." She responds.

"You have your toothbrush, homework you need to finish, pajama's for tonight, tomorrow and Sunday night?"

"Yes mama don't worry I remembered everything I even made a list and checked it 3 times." She tells me with a hint of annoyance as she shows me her checklist.

"Are you sure you're not forgetting anything?"

She shakes her head "No I have everything! See I told you I can do it all by myself mama." She tells me proudly.

"Oh yes, you sure told me. Well then I guess you wont be needing this right?" I ask her as I reveal her stuffed lamb (the first toy I had bought for her when I found out I was expecting) that I had hidden behind my back.

"Lala!" she exclaims when she sees her prized stuffed toy (which had gotten its name when she was about 1 and half and she couldn't say lamb) "How could I forg- uh I don't need some silly toy Mom I'm too big to sleep with a stuffed animal at night that's why I didn't pack her."

I look at her a little shocked anytime she was going to spend the night somewhere she always took Lala with her. "You know Rachel it's okay to sleep with a toy at night if you still want to."

"I'm not a little baby anymore Mom. Lauren from next door says that only babies need a toy to fall asleep with. And I'm not a baby! So Lala can stay here." She says grabbing the little lamb out of my hand and placing him on top of her pillows in the middle of her bed.

"Well alright little star if you're sure."

"I am. Oh! That must be daddy!" she exclaims running out of the room when we hear a knock at the door.

"Rachel! Wait up do not answer that door till I get there!" I yell walking out after her. I finally catch up with her to see her bouncing in place impatiently waiting for me to open the door.

"Mommy! Hurry up…" I give her a stern look that lets her know there had better be a please following that statement. And sure enough…

"Please! Mommy can you open the door now?!" I chuckle at my daughter's impatience that she most likely inherited from both her father and I before finally opening the door to reveal Dustin standing there.

"Daddy!" Rachel screams before jumping up into Dustin's waiting arms.

"There's my little love bug! I've missed you so much did you miss me?"

"Yes! Of course I did daddy! What are we doing this weekend? Are we going to the movies again? Oh! Or we can see Wicked mama and I saw it and daddy, daddy it was amazing! Can we go to the park or is Coney island open? Scarlett said she went to Coney Island this summer and it was really fun! Will you take me daddy? Please pretty please." She tells Dustin speaking a mile a minute, thankfully both of us are pros when it comes to "Rachel speak".

"Whoa slow down there love bug why don't we first get some dinner and then we'll see what we do the rest of the weekend okay?" She nods in agreement "Alright then where's your bag so we can get going?" he asks as he set her down.

"it's in my room I'll go get it!"

"don't worry sweet heart I'll get it for you, why don't you show daddy your drawing that you made in art class the other day." I tell her as I walk towards her room. The less time I had to spend with Dustin the better, even though we've been divorced for four years now my heart still ached a little when I saw him.

As I grab her bag I decide to pack Lala the stuffed little lamb into the bag knowing that the only reason Rachel didn't pack it herself was because she wanted to seem cool in the eyes of the little twelve year old next door. I walk back to the living room to see Rachel showing Dustin one of her new dance moves that she had just learned earlier today.

"All right here you go." I say handing the bag over to Dustin. "Don't let her stay up too late and make sure she studies for her spelling test on Monday. And don't load her up on junk food either…"

"Shelby this is not my first time taking care of my daughter I know what I'm doing." He responds a little gruffly.

"Sorry you're right she's your daughter as well. Ok little star where's my good bye hug and kiss?" she runs over to me and squeezes me tight while giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Daddy's taking you to school Monday so I'll see you when I pick you up from school alright? And if you want to come home or you want to talk to me all you have to do is call my phone and I'll be there as quick as can be. But you have a fun time with your daddy now okay."

"Okay bye Mia!" she tells the little dog who's sitting at her feet. "Bye mama I love you!"

"I love you to my lovely little star to the moon and back." I give her one last hug before walking Dustin and her to the cab that was waiting for them. I wave to her as she waves from the car window. Guess it's just me and the dog this weekend, which meant the next few days, would be abnormally quiet.

_**Rachel's POV:** _

I looked out the cab window in amazement as New York sped by us I always love when the taxis go really fast making all the buildings blend into a mix of colors. I smiled at my dad happy that we got to spend a whole 3 days together, he even gets to take me to school on Monday! We pulled up to my dad's apartment 15 minutes later and after taking my bag up to my room we sat down to eat some chicken and rice my dad had made. I swung my legs back and forth as we talked and ate our dinner.

"So daddy what are we doing this weekend?"

"Hmm well what do you say we go laser tagging tomorrow?"

"Laser tag really?!" I ask excitedly.

"yes just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun."

I giggle, "Daddy you're not that old! My friend's mommies and daddies are a lot older than you and mommy! So it will be just me and you this weekend right?"

"Of course I'm all yours little lady. Now what do you say to helping me clean these dishes and then we'll watch a movie together?"

After helping daddy wash the dishes we sat down in the living room and watched the latest Harry Potter movie.

"Rachel, Rachel, love bug…" I hear my daddy say softly.

"huh?"

"Comes on I think it's time you went to bed."

"But the movie…" I respond while yawning

"We'll finish it tomorrow. Do you want me to carry you to your room?"

"No daddy I'm not a baby anymore I can walk on my own."

I eventually make it to my room and change into my pajamas and now after kissing my dad goodnight I'm lying in my bed unable to sleep no matter how tired I actually am. Something's missing but what? Maybe if I read a book it will make me go to sleep quicker. I climb out of my bed turning on the lamp on my nightstand before tiptoeing over to my backpack. I open up the smaller side pocket to find not the Nancy Drew book I was currently reading but Lala.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper quietly to myself, as I pull her out a note tumbles out as well. I take Lala and the note back to my bed where I can read it better.

_Lala told me she's not ready to be all grown up yet and still likes sleeping with her human. She's also there to deliver a goodnight hug and kiss from mommy!_

_Love you my little star hope you're having a wonderful time!_

_Xoxo Mommy._

I smiled and hugged Lala (who smelled like my mama's perfume) now I could finally sleep.

The next morning after finishing our breakfast daddy and I were about to leave so we could go laser tagging when out of the blue in walks this lady I've never seen before holding two coffee cups. She's a little taller than mommy and had caramel colored skin, her curly black hair was tied up in a pony tail and she had really pretty hazel eyes, she looked pretty and nice enough but that still didn't change the fact that I didn't have a clue as to who she was. My dad was in his room grabbing his wallet so I decided to find out who this lady was she obviously knew my dad pretty well if she bought coffee for him and has a key to his apartment.

"Hello? Anyone home Dustin?" she calls out into the apartment setting down the coffees on the kitchen counter.

"Excuse me! Who are you and what are you doing here?" She jumped a little when I spoke probably cause I spooked her since I had been lying down on the sofa where she couldn't see me.

"Whoa! Scared me there a little. Oh, you must be Rachel! I'm sorry sweet heart I didn't mean to barge in on you and your dads weekend I completely forgot he had you this weekend."

"Not to be rude, but I still don't know your name or how you know my dad." I tell her while crossing my arms in front of me. She's about to respond when my dad walks into the room.

"Krista! What are you doing here?" my dad exclaims walking into the living room.

"Well I thought I would surprise you with some coffee but it totally slipped my mind that you had Rachel this weekend." Krista explained.

"Dad! Who is she?! And how does she know my name?" I huffed stomping my foot getting frustrated that someone had yet to explain to me what was going on.

"Rachel! I know I've raised with you better manners."

"Sorry," I grumbled "but nobody will tell me what's going on."

"Well Rachel this is Krista she's my…." He paused for moment looking at Krista before turning to look back at me before finally saying "my girlfriend and she knows who you are because I told her about you. Now why don't you go over there and politely introduce yourself to Krista." He says giving me a little nudge in her direction. I walk over to her and put on my best smile deciding that the quicker I was nicer to her and said hello maybe the quicker she would leave so it could be me and my dad again.

"My name's Rachel Elizabeth Corcoran-Goolsby it's very nice to meet you. I'm very sorry I was rude earlier." I tell her sweetly extending my hand for her to shake.

"Well I accept your apology and it's very nice to meet you miss Rachel Elizabeth. My name is Krista Martin and I am terribly sorry to have interrupted your weekend with your dad so I'll just be on my way now and let you two get back to whatever you were about to do." She tells me while shaking my hand I smile a little bigger happy that she would be leaving. "You're right Dustin she's an angel."

"Thanks, hey you don't have to leave, why don't you come with us we're going to go play some laser tag." I turn to my dad eyes wide in shock what is he thinking?! This is our weekend!

"I don't know I understand from experience how important these weekends are and I'm sure Rachel wouldn't want me to intrude…" Listen to her daddy she speaks the truth.

"Nonsense I'm sure Rachel doesn't mind. Right sweet heart?" he says glancing at me "besides it will give you two a chance to get to know each other."

"Hmm only if it's okay with Rachel." They both look at me waiting for an answer, and I want to scream no but my dad looks like he really wants me to say yes.

"Fine she can come."

Forty minutes later we arrive at the laser tag center and are waiting for them to let us into the arena and unfortunately it's boys versus girls this round so Krista and I were on the same team I was planning on just losing her in the maze but daddy specifically told me he wanted me to stay close by Krista. Finally the doors opened and we all rushed inside, right away we started shooting our lasers left and right eventually we found a place to rest where no one could see us.

"So are you having fun?" Krista asks.

"Yea, but I'd be having more fun if it was just me and my daddy." I tell her.

"Oh uh…"

"Are you going to marry my dad and try to be like a new mom? Because I don't need a new mom, I already have the best one in the entire universe. She's pretty and smart and nice and has the most amazing singing voice ever!"

"I don't know maybe one day I'll marry your dad but only if you and my son were okay with it. And if I did marry your dad I wouldn't try and replace your mom at all."

"Wait so if I said I didn't want you to marry my dad you wouldn't?"

"Yes."

"But why? I thought you loved my daddy more than anything?"

"I do love him, but he loves you more and I wouldn't get in the way of you and your dad. I've only known you for a little while Rachel but I must say you are one very cool little girl and I hope that we can at least be friends." She says sincerely holding out her hand as a peace offering.

"We can start off as acquaintances and then maybe we can be friends." I respond grasping her hand.

"Well ok that sounds fair enough. Now what do you say we get back in the game and try and take out your dad show him that girls are tougher than boys!"

I nod and we run back out into the chaos.

A couple hours later we were sitting in a pizzeria eating pizza and salad. While we were eating I found out more about Krista. She was a veterinarian which was really awesome because I wanted to be a vet too (of course I'd only be a vet on weekends and during the week I would be a Broadway star!) and she had a son who was my age. The more I learned about her the cooler I realized she actually was. She had traveled all over the world and was really funny and she even said that one day I could help her out at the vet's office! Eventually though it was time for all of us to go home. As we said goodbye I gave her a quick hug bye telling her "We can be friends now and since we're friends you can call me either Rach or Rachel." She smiled when I told her this she gave me one last hug and then leaned into kiss daddy before waving goodbye and walking to the nearest subway station.

The rest of the weekend went by really fast and I had an awesome time with my dad. It was now Monday and I was waiting with the rest of my class for the bell to ring. Finally ten minutes later I was running out the doors saying a quick bye to my friends as I run to my mom's open arms.

_**Shelby's POV:** _

I was almost knocked over with the force that was behind Rachel's hug but I didn't mind I was just happy to have my little girl back in my arms. If anyone had separation anxiety it was definitely me I really hated being away from her even if it was just for a weekend.

"So how was your weekend with your dad?" I ask her as we start our walk home.

"It was so awesome mommy! First daddy and I watched Harry Potter and then on Saturday we went laser tagging with daddy's girlfriend Krista. She wasn't supposed to come along at first but I said it was okay. And I didn't really like her but after I got to know her I found out she's really cool! Like the coolest grown up ever! She's been all over the world mommy! She's been to Australia, London, Paris, and guess what her job is?!" She pauses briefly only to breathe before continuing on as we walk through our front door. " She's a vet! Isn't that cool mama?! She gets to work with cute little animals all day! And you know what she told me? She said that next time I see daddy I could go visit her at the vets office and help her take care of the animals! I want to be a vet and a Broadway star when I grow up mommy! can I be that mommy?"

"You can be anything you want to be. But I thought you wanted to be a teacher like mommy?"

"Nope not anymore I want to be vet now!"

"oh well that sounds very nice sweetie now why don't you start your homework while make us some dinner." I tell her hoping that was she was done telling me about Krista. I know it might seem silly but the way Rachel talked about her made it seem as though she loved this Krista more than me after just spending a day with her.

"I don't have any homework. We had a substitute today, can I watch you make dinner?"

"Of course you can. Do you want to help me?"

"No I just wanna watch." She responds pulling a chair into the kitchen at first she sat there silently for a few minutes just swinging her legs back and forth but after about five minutes (that was a new record. Rachel couldn't stand silence and if nothing else was going to end the silence then you can bet she would) she started talking about Krista again. After a few more minutes of hearing Krista this and Krista that I decided I needed a break before my jealousy really got a hold of me, so I told Rachel to go and play in her room for a little while. My heart already felt a little wounded and I know it was dumb of me but I couldn't help but feel as if I was going to have to compete against this Krista woman in order to ensure that she wouldn't replace me and take Rachel's love from me.

After dinner I helped Rachel get ready for bed I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight before going to my room to watch a movie in bed. Sometime during the middle of a second movie I had fallen asleep and I had been sleeping peacefully until I felt someone shake my shoulder. I sit up slowly opening my eyes first looking to my clock to see that its close to 3am before turning over to see Rachel standing next to my bed with Lala clutched to her chest. "Rachel sweetie what are you doing out of bed?"

She sniffles a little "I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you tonight mama?"

"Awe my little star come here of course you can you don't have to ask." She climbs onto the bed and immediately snuggles up next to me.

"mama I forgot to tell you something earlier."

"And whats that?"

"Well Krista might be a really cool grown up but she's still not better than you." My heart swells when she tells me this, how could I be so dumb as to even start to believe that some lady would replace me in my daughters heart. "I even told her that you are the best mom in the universe cause you give the best hugs and your nice and pretty and you have the most beautiful singing voice ever…" She yawns before continuing "Will you sing me and Lala a song please mama?" she ask sleepily.

"What song would you like?"

She shrugs her shoulders leaving the decision up to me, after a little thought I start to softly sing while running my hand through her hair.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Way up high_

_There's a land that I heard of_

_Once in a lullaby…_


	8. A moment full of changes

In our family portrait, we look pretty happy

Let's play pretend, let’s act like it comes naturally

I don't wanna have to split the holidays

I don't want two addresses

I don't want a stepbrother anyways

****

****

Summer of 2004: _A moment full of Changes (Rachel’s age 9 ½)_

 

**Shelby’s POV**

“But mama! I don’t want to wear this stupid itchy dress!” Rachel tells me angrily (for the hundredth time) as she crosses her arms in front of her chest and stomps her foot, making it difficult for the seamstress to finish her final adjustments. She wasn’t upset about the dress that much I knew, when she had tried it on for the first time last month she was over the moon and ready to wear the dress home. If only I could get her to tell me what was bothering her, as emotional as Rachel could be she never liked to share what was causing her to be so emotional, I almost always had to fight tooth and nail just to get a hint of what was troubling her.

“Excuse me do you mind giving my daughter and I a minute alone?” I politely ask the seamstress.

“Sure, no problem just let me know when you’re ready.” She responds before walking out of the dressing room. Once she’s gone I turn back to Rachel who’s jumped down from the step stool she had been standing on and is now attempting to take off the offending clothing item.

“Stop right there, young lady!” She freezes the minute she hears how serious my tone of voice is, most likely already knowing I was less than thrilled with her earlier behavior. She slowly turns around keeping her eyes on the ground.

“Now would you mind telling me what has you so upset that you felt the need to act like a five year old and practically throw a temper tantrum?”

“I told you I don’t want to wear this dress! It’s ugly, itchy and stupid! I hate it!”

“Okay I’m going to give you five seconds to drop the attitude little girl or you will be spending the rest of the day in your room with no T.V. or music, and what did I say would happen the next time you said a bad word?”

“Youwouldwashmymouthoutwithsoap” she mutters to herself quickly.

“Speak up I didn’t hear you.”

“That you would wash my mouth out with soap.”

“That’s right and trust me when we get home we will be washing that mouth out.” I tell her sternly before asking gently once more what had her so upset.  “Now baby, why don’t you want to wear the dress? You loved it last month I thought you were excited to be the flower girl in your daddy’s wedding?”

“Well I don’t want to be a flower girl anymore! I just want to go home. Please mama can we just go home?” she says sounding tired.

“Fine, right after they finish making their adjustments, and I want you to apologize to lady for your behavior understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

 Ten minutes later we’re sitting in the back of cab headed home. I look over to Rachel who’s staring out the window seemingly lost in thought.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours huh?” I ask her.

“Nothing, I just want to go home.” She tells me quietly.

I scoot closer to her putting my arm around her, this was going to be one tough nut to crack it seemed. Of all the things my daughter inherited from me why did she have to get my stubbornness!

 

Finally we arrived home and after making Rachel sit with a bar of soap in her mouth for a no more than a minute, I tell her to just occupy herself in her room until lunch was ready. Lunch was pretty quiet which was strange, Rachel was always talking or singing or making some sort of noise the only time there were quiet moments in this house was either when I demanded them or when Rachel was asleep.

A short while after lunch I see Rachel standing the middle of the hallway with the house phone in her hand getting ready to dial someone. Which she knows she’s not aloud to do without telling me who she’s calling first.

“And who exactly are you calling?” I ask as I come up to her.

“Daddy, he said that if I didn’t want him to get married all I had to do was tell him and he wouldn’t get married. So I’m going to tell him just that. And instead of having to put on those ugly itchy clothes and sit through the boring wedding we can go to the movies just him and me!” She tells me as she dials her father’s number. I quickly grab the phone out of her hand and place it back on its cradle before it even has a chance to start ringing. (We don’t need to be giving Dustin and Krista a heart attack a week before the wedding until we know what’s really going on)

“Hey! I was using that!”

“I know you were but first of all you broke my rule regarding the telephone…”

**“** I was just calling daddy.” She mumbles under her breath.

“Secondly I wanted to talk to you about your sudden change in attitude towards the wedding. What’s going on Rach I thought you couldn’t wait for the wedding to happen?” ~~~~

“Well I changed my mind! So may I PLEASE have the phone so I can call daddy and tell him to cancel the wedding.” She says through gritted teeth.

“How about we go to the park first?”

She looks up at me confused “the park?

**“** It’s such a beautiful day it’d be a shame to let it go to waste.” I tell her not explaining that my real reason for our little park excursion was because she tended to open up more after running around a bit. “Now come on go put your shoes and grab Mia’s leash, unless you’d rather stay here and talk.

“No! I want to go give me two minutes.” She says as she runs to her bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later I’m watching Rachel run around the jungle gym as Mia chases her. I let them run around for ten more minutes before calling for Rachel to come back.

“Awe do we have to go home already?”

“No, not yet. I just thought you and Mia needed a little water break.” I tell her handing her a bottle of water. She sits there quietly for moment before finally saying, “I know why we came to the park.”

“Oh yea?” I prompt, wanting her to continue.

“Mmm hmm, it’s cause you think that I’m going to tell you whyI want daddy to cancel the wedding.” I look at her a little shocked that she had basically figure out my ulterior motives but then I remember that Rachel has always been very clever sometimes too much for her own good. “Well you can forget it I’m not going to say anything!”

“If you say so.” I say going along with her hoping to make her think I don’t care and in turn that will make her want tell me more, oh yea I’m using a little reverse psychology.  I don’t even have to wait that long for her to start talking again.

“Except that Blaine should stop taking things that aren’t his!” She says with a scowl as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.

“What did he take from you Rach? Maybe it was by mistake or he was just borrowing whatever he took.”

“Nothing! I told you I don’t wanna talk bout it!”

“Alright then, I think it’s time to head home anyways.” I tell her when I notice some dark rain clouds on the horizon.

“But you said we could stay a little longer.” She tells with a slight hint of a whine in her voice.

“Hey what have I told you about whining? Besides it looks there’s some storm clouds coming in and we don’t have an umbrella which means we have to start heading home.”

Rachel gets off the bench letting out a frustrated sigh before turning to me with her big brown eyes pleading “Mama can I go on the swings for five minutes before we go home? Please.”

I look towards the rain clouds trying to gage how long until the rain would come into the city. I figure that we have enough time for Rachel to swing for a little bit, so nod giving her my okay. She gives me a bright smile before taking off towards the swing set.

 

Thankfully we made it home just before the storm hit and after calling my boyfriend Alex to cancel our date for the night (I was so close to getting Rachel to really open up to me about her sudden dislike for Blaine I wasn’t about to leave just now.) Rachel and I ate a small dinner, followed by a bath for Rachel and then I was finally tucking her into bed.

“Why’d you cancel your date with Alex?”

“Because I wanted to be here to tuck you in for the night.” I tell her tapping her nose, which earns me a small smile.

“But isn’t Alex mad that you guys aren’t on your date?”

“No, he knows and understands that no matter what you will always come first.”

“Oh…Mama? Did you and daddy always want a little girl?”

“Of course we did why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I just think that daddy would like me better if I was a little boy.”

What? Where was Rachel getting this crazy idea from, how could she not see that Dustin loved her more than anything. “What would make you think that?”

“Cause he loves Blaine more than me.”

“WHAT?! Sweetie where did you ever get that idea?”

“when I went to daddy’s house last weekend, Blaine moved into my room. So now there’s all this boy stuff in MY ROOM! And Blaine kept telling me about all the stuff he and MY DADDY did together and daddy kept letting Blaine hang out with us all weekend but I didn’t want him to! I wanted it to be just daddy and me!  It’s not fair Blaine already has a dad why does he have to take mine? It’s not like I’m taking his mom! Daddy’s supposed to love me the most but now he loves Blaine more! So maybe if I was a boy he’d love me more again!” She tells me as she rubs her eyes trying to stop some tears from escaping.

“Oh baby, come here.” I tell her as I pull her into a hug. “Rachel, your Dad loves you, and if he could he would spend everyday with you.”

“You’re just saying that…” She tells me as she starts to cry a little harder finally letting out all her emotions that she had kept bottled up for so long out.

I know at this point it’s best to just comfort her, she was too firm in her belief that her father’s love for her was diminishing, to listen to reason. So I lie back against her headboard rocking her in my lap, while quietly singing to her. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would for her to fall asleep. I tucked her back under the blankets kissing her cheek before quietly walking out of her room.

Grabbing the phone I decide to give Dustin a call, he needed to know how Rachel was feeling about everything.

 

 

**Rachel’s POV:**

“Mama can we make pancakes today?” I say as I walk down the hall the following morning. But instead of my mother’s voice answering me I hear a much deeper one.

“Would it be okay if we went out for pancakes instead?”

I walk into the kitchen to see my dad standing there.

“Daddy?! What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to spend the day with you.”

“But it’s not our weekend.”

“I asked your dad if he could watch you while I run a few errands today.” My mom says as she walks into the room.

“Really?!”

“Yes, really and it will just be me and you today so as soon as your dressed we’ll go.”

**No one’s POV**

[Later at the restaurant]

“You know I never really asked how you felt about gaining a brother, I’ve just assumed that you were okay with it because you and Blaine are great friends.” Dustin says as he and Rachel finish up their breakfast.

Rachel shrugs her shoulders “Blaine and I are friends, so I don’t know it’s whatever.” She responds trying to sound like she could care less about the situation.

“Well I’m happy you and Blaine are friends, but how do you like him as a brother?”

Rachel just shrugs her shoulders again, deciding to play with the food left on her plate instead of answering dad’s question. But Dustin wasn’t giving up that easy this time he decides to ask her a slightly different question.

“hmm answer this for me, what would your perfect family look like love bug?”

Rachel takes a sip of her hot chocolate thinking about her answer carefully. “The perfect family would be just me, you and mommy, it’d even be okay if you and mommy weren’t married just as long as there were no brothers!”

“Why no brothers?”

“Cause!”

“Because why?” Dustin prompts hoping Rachel will elaborate and not clam up, which she tends to do when she’s frustrated.

“Because…because…they take stuff that doesn’t belong to them! First he took my room and now he’s taking you! You’re my dad not Blaine’s or anyone else’s your just mines!”

“Rachel, lov…” Dustin starts to say but Rachel cuts him off finally telling her dad about how she’s been feeling lately.

“No! don’t Rachel love bug me, I know you love Blaine more than me now! And don’t say I’m crazy, because you gave him my room and Blaine tells me you guys hang out all the time, you even let him hang out with us when it’s supposed to be _my weekend_ with you! You’re supposed to love me the most, Blaine already has a dad he can’t have mines too!”

“oh, Rachel I’m so sorry that you felt like that Blaine was taking me away from you. Baby girl you have no idea how much I love you and I don’t love Blaine more…”

“Cause you love me most?”

“No, I love you both the same but you will always hold an extra special place in my heart know why?”

Rachel shakes her head no.

“Because you’re my first and only little girl.”

“but why do you bring Blaine with us everywhere? And why did you give him my room?”

“Well I guess I brought Blaine with us because I didn’t want him to feel left out and I never even thought how it could make you feel. I know now I should’ve asked you if you wanted Blaine to hang out with us first. And from now on I will. And as for letting him sleep in your room, that’s only for a little while. Krista and I are looking for a bigger house that way you each get your own room.”

“But you’re not leaving New York right? You’re house will still be here in the city?”

“maybe a little outside the city but yes I’m still going to live here, hey and you know what when we get the new house I’ll even let you decide what color you want to paint your room!”

“Really?” Rachel asks smiling a little at Dustin.

Dustin nods “Now come on lets finish these pancakes so we can…”

“Go to the movies?” Rachel asks hopefully.

“A movie date with my favorite girl sounds perfect.” Rachel just smiles even bigger in response, happy to have an afternoon with her dad and no one else.

 

It was finally the day of the wedding and Rachel was sitting as still as she possibly could while her mother finished curling her hair. But Shelby could tell that if her daughter didn’t release some of her excitement and nerves that it would only end in disaster for the two of them.

“Hey Rach why don’t you pick out a lip-gloss to wear while I finish up this last section of hair.”

“Okay!” She responds happily grabbing the small basket of lip-gloss on top of my vanity before sitting back down in front of me.

“And there your hair is all done! Did you choose a lip-gloss?”

“Yes is this one okay?” Rachel asks holding out a light pink glittery gloss.

“That looks perfect now smile a little so I can put it on you.” Shelby tells her bending down in front of her to apply the makeup.

“what do you think?” Shelby asks turning Rachel around to face the vanity mirror.

“Wow! I love it! What do you think mommy do I look pretty?”

“I think you look beautiful even without your hair and make-up done.” Rachel smiles happily at her mom.

“Daddy’s here!” Rachel yells jumping up when they hear the doorbell ring five minutes later.

“ Stop right there! Don’t you even think of running down the hall.” Shelby yells as Rachel prepares to do just that.

“but why?”

“Because if you do you’ll mess up your curls and I want your hair to stay neat for as long as possible.” Shelby responds before they both walk calmly towards the door.

After some quick hello’s and going over what time Rachel would be brought back Shelby hands Dustin Rachel’s dress which is in a garment bag, and shoes for the wedding so they could be put in the car.

As Dustin takes Rachel’s shoes and dress to the car Rachel says her goodbyes to Shelby.

“Come on my little flower girl give me my hug and kiss.” Shelby tells Rachel. As Rachel hugs Shelby she feels her mother flinch as well as hears her take in a pained breath.

Rachel let’s go of her mother quickly, scared she might’ve hurt her. She looks up to her mother worriedly asking “Mama are you okay?”

“What of course baby girl why would you ask?”

“I- it just sounded like I hurt you when I hugged you right now.”

“oh that, that was because I forgot how strong you’ve gotten.” Shelby says hoping this will placate her daughter’s worry for the time being

“So you’re okay? You’re not hurt?”

“Nope I’m perfectly fine! You my little star just don’t know your own strength.” Shelby lies not wanting to worry her daughter as well as convincing herself that it was nothing.

“You’re so silly sometimes mommy.” Shelby just smiles and hugs Rachel one more time, while reminding her to behave and have fun.

“I’ll see you later tonight alright?” Rachel nods giving her mother a kiss before walking to the car where Dustin is waiting for her.

“Bye mommy I’ll see you later! Love you!” Rachel shouts from the car window as it pulls away from the curb before driving into the oncoming traffic.

“Love bug…love bug time to wake up”

She yawns “Are we home already?”

“Yea ‘fraid so.  Come on let’s get you inside I bet your mom has missed you all day.”

“I can’t wait to tell her about how Blaine and I caught the bouquet!”

“I’m sure she’d love to hear all about it. Now say good night to everyone.”

“good night everyone!” Rachel says sleepily to Blaine and Krista while running her eyes and stepping out of the limo. Once she’s out of the limo she walks up next to her dad hugging him, while looking up at him. “Daddy, will you carry me?”

“I thought you said you were to big to be carried?”

“Oh you’re right I did…”

“But just because you’re my love bug I’ll carry you one more time.” He tells her lifting her up.

“Thank you daddy, I love you.” Rachel whispers while resting her head on his shoulder.

“Love you too Rachel.”

He walks them up the stairs to the door and knocks waiting for Shelby to answer. But instead of his ex-wife answering the door he’s met with his former sister-in-law, who looks stressed out and like she’s been crying.

“Julie? What are you doing here? Is Shelby okay?” Dustin asks slightly worried. He might’ve done some horrible thing to Shelby but he wasn’t completely heartless he wanted to make sure that the mother of his child was okay.

“Hey is she asleep?” Julie asks avoiding the question.

Dustin looks down at Rachel and realizes that in the short time it took to walk up the stairs Rachel had indeed fallen back asleep.

“Yea she’s out.”

“Oh good, here let me have her.” Julie tells him stretching her arms out to take her.

“Nah, it’ll be easier if I just tuck her in.”

Julie pause for a second before answering “Fine, you’re right come on.”

Dustin walks through the thresh hold and follows Julie to Rachel’s room. He lays her down on the bed, and starts to help Julie get her out of her flower girl dress and into some pajamas. While they’re changing her Dustin asks again about Shelby.

“Julie what’s going on? What happened to Shelby?” he says a little louder than he meant too, causing Rachel to wake up slightly.

“M-Mommy?” Rachel says her voice thick with sleep as she rubs her eyes. Julie rushes over to her and gently tells her to go back to sleep, while pulling the blankets over her. Rachel who’s too tired to realize that it’s her aunt that responded just lies back down and turns over on her side falling back asleep.

Julie pushes Dustin out of the room and back to the front door.

“Look Dustin I don’t know how much Shelby wants me to tell you, but for now all you need to know is that she’s okay and she’ll be back home within a few days and I’ll be helping her and watching Rachel for the next week or so at least.”

“Seriously that’s all you’re going to tell me Julie?”

“This isn’t my story to share Dustin! Besides if I remember correctly you were the one who decided that you wanted nothing to do with my sister when you broke her heart when you decided to cheat on her five years ago! If Shelby decides she wants to tell you then she will but until then go enjoy your freaking honeymoon okay!” Julie yells at him.

Dustin takes a step back “Whoa, alright I get it Julie…I just wanted to make sure that Shelby was alright.”

“Sorry it’s just been a long and stressful day.”

“Well at least you lost your temper with me and not Rachel, and if you need me to take her while you deal with Shelby…”

“No, No it’s fine go on your honeymoon. And besides you know Shelby hates being away from Rachel longer than she has to be.”

“Okay but if anything changes you can reach me on my cell phone.” Dustin tells her as he walks out the door.

 

 

Rachel stretches as she gets out of her bed the next morning, before making her way towards the kitchen where she knows she’ll find her mom with a cup of coffee in hand and the radio playing quietly as she makes breakfast for the two of them.

But when Rachel reaches the kitchen she finds it completely empty, the coffee pot isn’t even on. What was going on? Her mom is always in the kitchen when she woke up. Confused and slightly worried she quickly makes her way to her mother’s room.

“Mommy are you in here?” Rachel asks as she opens the door only to find her mother’s bed un-slept in and her mother nowhere in sight. Rachel turns around ready to run and check the rest of the small house for her mother but instead runs right into her aunt, whom had been talking on the phone with her own mother (Rachel’s grandmother) when she heard Rachel calling out for Shelby.

“Aunt Julie! Where’s mama? And what’re you doing here?” Julie hugs her goddaughter tightly before leading her to living room and sitting down with her on the couch.

“Rachel, sweetie now I don’t want you to worry, first of all your mom is going to be fine. Alright?” Julie tells her niece slowly.

“okay but what do you mean she is going to be fine? Did something happen? Where’s my mom?!”

Julie lets out a huge sigh before answering “Rachel your mother is in the hospital.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. Chapters will get longer as the story progresses and we will see Rachel in Chapter 3! :D jsyk shelby is 21 and Dustin Goolsby is 23. Review please and check out my other stories as well! ;)


End file.
